This is the story of a 15 year old teenager in Belgium who should normally be enjoying this part of her life.
I’m not… at all. I am in love with a girl, the most precious and amazing human being i have ever met.I have been for 2 years right now, we struggled, a lot, but we made it this far, and we believe we can make it till we are grey and old together.
My parents, my whole family does not approve this, they look at me like I am from a different planet, took away my phone, laptop, room, freedom, space and time. After school I directly have to go home, study, eat, clean up and sleep. this is what every day looks like to me. I can no longer meet any of my friends out of school because they think I will be seeing the girl I am in love with. they yell at me, a lot, they hit me and abandon me as if I am nothing to them. they don’t look at me as their daughter anymore but as a stranger who disguists them both.
Except for my girlfriend I have nothing left to lose.
I want to get away from here as fast as i can, but that means i have to leave my brother and two sisters behind… that means ill never be able to see them in normal circumstances and my whole family will be disappointed.
I am the oldest one at home, and the oldest niece in the family, everyone looks at me as if I am their example. I’m not. I pretend to be happy all the time, as if i enjoy things, and i try to have normal hobbies like drawing or reading.
My mom doesnt want me to read nor buy any books, if I read, she wants me to read about religion and that sort of things. same with watching TV or movies, if I have time to watch TV I can learn about our believe amongst her.
I am tired. tired of hiding, sneaking around, tired of recognizing everyone’s footsteps when they come upstairs or scared of being in my room because they can come in any second. my grades suffer because of all this.
I am normally a great student, motivated, enthusiastic, but fighting at home and not being able to concentrate really lowers my grades and mood.
I don’t want to talk about this all the time to my friends at school or my girlfriend. I don’t want to bother them.
I don’t wanna die but i don’t wanna live like this.
crying, yelling, hurting myself, feeling angry with myself, feeling like i don’t belong here.
What i’d do to live a different life
FROM… THE GIRL WHO ISN’T ALLOWED TO LOVE