I miss you both so much. When we were still the closest friends, I could come to you guys with anything. If I had relapsed and cut myself again, you both would make me feel better and keep me away from doing it again for as long as possible.

When I almost killed myself, you guys were still my best friends regardless. When I came out, you were the most supportive people. I miss how it used to be. I still consider calling one of you. I sometimes cry thinking of how things used to be.

I just want to go back to the late night Domino’s pizza, the walks to get food or snacks, the 9 am smoke sesh, the movie nights, and everything else we used to do as friends. I miss being close like that with anyone. I miss not feeling so alone. I miss you. Both of you. I hope you never see this. I hope I get into a terrible car crash and develop amnesia and forget how good it all was and how bad it all ended. I want you guys back.

I’m sorry for being as bad as you thought I was. Even though I’m still not sure what I did to end that kind of bond, I’m sorry for whatever it was.

Goodbye.

FROM…. Alice