I don’t know if I would see you tomorrow. Or when I will see you again. Hopefully, I do get to see you again, even if it is just for job hunting or otherwise. I hope that you would reply faster too, and not be a shitty texted (well, you do have a life, I am aware of that)
Just so you know, I often think about you, and I miss you, even if I am not allowed to. I am trying to make my full peace with it, with the thought that it is not going to be the same, and there are more boundaries in our friendship.
I miss a lot of things, James.
I miss holding hands, dancing on the street, hugging you, linking arms with you. I miss the Jollibee dates with you. I miss walking around downtown, listening to 80s music with you. I miss kissing you, your cheek, your forehead. I miss the way I got to gently nibble your hands for fun. I miss the way you looked at me, the familiarity of your company, the moments where we did not need to say anything. I missed our relationships, the things we did, the things we do for each other, the menial thoughts and actions that were significant. I missed the way you touched me, yearned for me, kissed me. I miss who were, and how we used to be.
I miss us, and deep down, if I could turn back time to change everything, I would. But I know things happen for a reason, for a lesson. And if our past relationship was a lesson for both of us, then so be it.
I think I have found someone new, someone who fulfilled me more than you did. And me and him just clicked more in terms of chemistry. He’s a friend, but we did hookup once. Anyways, it’s just a mere crush, I don’t think we would ever be a thing.
You are my friend, with a romantic past. I’ll always care for you, but in another way that I never expected to. I have to forgive and forget what happened. I have to forgive myself, and forget what loving you felt like.
Thank you. Sorry. Hope I see you.