Write Anonymous Letter

Dear Yusuf

Ever since you left to Melbourne I have felt so out of place, and even though i did develop a crush on you and it faded I still wish you were here to guide Me with everything going on in my life. You the person who i could play Mario kart with and not feel bad about myself.

You were the person who i could yell at horror movies with and how stupid the characters are and make dirty jokes out of anything and everything. Even though we never hugged or kissed I had a sense of confort with you and i felt more safe to ask you for help rather than my own boyfriend ( he’s now my ex) or my parents. Sure maybe you failed your French final but that never made me think less of you only made me feel more empathetic and happy for you.

The spontaneous text messages i would get from you or when i would text you and the notification lit up my screen at night my heart would only jump around and skip a few beats. Even now I read back those messages and see the words ‘ safety’ and ‘peace’ in between the lines of the threads of messages and how we would go on about Machine Gun Kelly’s new album and how he’s overrated.

Ok so sure you are hot but that doesn’t me I only liked you for your looks, you felt like an older brother to me and were one of the best guy friend’s a hopeless girl could ever ask for. I replay in my head millions of scenarios in which i wonder what would you have done if you found out about my ex or how I ended up having depression, I always picture you comforting me and giving me your hoodies especially the blue one with was your confort one and the one you would always wear when you came over to our house. Sure maybe I was so shit at rocket league but I literally thrashed you at valorant and I could just see the smile behind your eyes even though you would get annoyed every time i snuck up on you.

I still cry over you and wonder if you will ever be a love of mine or not but anyhow I will always love you regardless of anything. You are my best friend and by soulmate in my eyes and I know you are really stubborn and dont believe in any of this astrology shit but I dont really either I just believe in soul mates.

This year is going to be really hard for both of us and if at any point are to read this I hope you are happy where you are in life and I want to remind you that i am so proud of you am I really wish on the best and that the only reason I still get out of bed and try my best and fighting the urge to give is because I will one day see you again fully in person and you’ve grown both ways (if yk yk)

I love you so much Yusuf,

FROM…. Your tall crazy neighbor , Z