I am so lucky.
So incredible grateful for everything that had happened this year.
For every cut and tear and drop of blood just as much as for every single jump my heart made, every daydream and smile.
I’ve learned that whoever or whatever I never imagined living without, I’d still keep going and it’d be good.
I think I found my love. I found you Art, or better you found me. I am so thankful for loving you and feeling your love.
Sometimes I thought I didn’t deserved you. You’re such an angel. You’re always so extremely caring and gentle. You’re just lovable and everyone who doesn’t see’s that is blind.
I know we had a tough start. A part of me would like to change the past, but another part knows, maybe it was meant this way.
Maybe I had first to learn pain and how to actually value myself and make experiences and so many bittersweet memories before I matured enough for you. I know I’m not a bad person, even though I sometimes, feel like a monster and wish I didn’t “loved” him before you.
I know that it was not the actual love, or maybe it was but it was a different feeling. More like a brother. He was the first person I felt that connection. Maybe my first actual feeling of depth in a friendship. I’m thankful I met him. That I was able to make all those experiences. I grew. But I deeply apologize for all the suffering you went through because of me.
I do deserve you. And you’re my first person I ever felt this deep feeling of warmth. Did you ever felt as if you could cry because there’s a person out there that loves you with its full heart?
I love you Art. I can’t tell why the universe decided to make you live on the other side of the planet, but I know we can rely on each other. We’ll fight. You’re worth to be fought for. And if someone isn’t fighting for you they don’t deserve you.
I want the day to come where I am standing at the airport, full of excitement, waiting for you to arrive and then I see you and I can run into your arms and hug you and feel your body and kiss and cry and have you fully. Cause you’re mine 😉 My first boyfriend ever.
I want to keep you forever.
FROM…. Yours, Lin