Hey my TOTGA, how are you?
It’s almost 2 am here and I’m still not done with my business report, you might smack me hard or nag at me if you were here with me or at least if you still cared about me because I chose to write you this letter that you will never read or even see instead of finishing something important. Never thought I miss your over concern about me, I miss seeing your startled face when you found out that I’m slacking off again. I wonder what will you be your reaction now that you see me striving more than before but I still have this habit of writing you a letter whenever you’re not around?
I know it’s been 4 years since we broke up, but I still miss the person you were. Yeah, I admit that. Even though I almost even got married. I loved my ex-fiance, at least I want to believe that I did. I wanted to learn to love her, but in the end, I realized that you can’t force your heart to love someone. That might sound like some cliche movie line but it is true, I used to think that it was easy to fall in love with someone if they were successful and good-looking. She was nice, well-off, and outgoing, and everyone around her love her because of her great personality. Everyone thinks that I hit the jackpot because I’m getting married to someone like her who has a bright future ahead of her but to be honest with you, I never saw myself having a future with her. To make the long story short, I also ended things with her. It’s weird that after dating her for years I don’t even miss her. Our mutual friends told me that she isn’t taking the breakup well and she wants to get back with me. I won’t reconcile our relationship, she deserves someone else who will love her certainly.
I know that it’s too late to say this but if you’ll give me the chance, I will never waste it again. I was dumb and immature when we were together. I did many things to you that I now regret. An apology will never be enough to erase the scars that I created within you. I will understand if you will never want to even look in my direction again but I promise you this time around I will be different. I hope you know that I’m not the same person I used to be. Since we separated, I learned a lot from the day I walked away from you. Even though I was the one who decided to end it, I was still hurt and grieving. I thought that no person can break my heart like that, but I guess you proved me wrong. I was contemplating if I made the right decision that’s why I asked you to wait for me. You even promised that you will wait for me. So why didn’t you keep your promise? I’m not upset or angry at you for doing that because I was a piece of trash before but it hurt. A lot. I thought you will give me a chance to be a better person so that I can deserve you but you were too good to be true I guess. You were the only person I wanted to be with until my last breath. People might say that the love we had was just typical “young” love, they don’t know that the feelings we had were real. I know that you will never come back again but thank you for everything. Even the bad memories you gave me. You are a big part of why I tried to improve myself, I wish I have done it when we were together so that I can be the person you deserved. That was the main trigger why we broke up, people around you didn’t think I deserved someone as dashing as you. Now, I can say that my life has improved a lot since we broke up. But it would have been wonderful if we were still together.
Anyways I’ll carry on now. Never forget that I loved you a lot before, Goodbye.
FROM…. The one who walked away