I’m done being subtle and trying to have plausible deniability. if you see this, you see it. i typed this a few days ago, but it still stands.

hey. It’s been a while, right? ill now ill never send this to but I need to say this, so for now ill pretend my notes app is our text messages.

these days I’m extremely confused. I’m not sure what it is but for some reason, there are these thoughts that I just can’t escape no matter how much I try to get rid of them. my friends are tired of hearing about it, so I’ve stopped telling people. I’m the only one who knows just how much I can stop thinking about this. little things remind me. It’s been like, a year since we’ve talked, so why can’t I forget? I’ve gone through a lot in the past year. 

I’ve changed a lot as a person. I’m sure you have, too. I still do that thing I used to do, where i constantly check who views my story. I always look for your name for some reason. when I made a new account, I didn’t follow you for a while, because I knew that once I did, I wouldn’t be able to get these thoughts out of my head. I was right I guess. how have you been? how have you really been? how are your sisters? how is timothy? i miss him sometimes, he’s a lot nicer than loki.

I don’t miss him as much as I miss you though. god, I really miss you sam. it feels nice to say that sentence. I wish I could tell you. I want to text you so bad but I feel like I cant. I mean, what’s stopping me.

FROM…. someone who misses you more than you miss them, unfortunately