Everything is so unreal for me. After a long long time, I finally had the chance to talk to him, straight in the eye, with a lot of confidence.
I could say that I did a great job being that close to him for just a minute or so. And I’m not sure if he finds me annoying or something because he’s not even showing those emotions. Well, I guess so.
But I’m hoping he’s not. It’ll be so embarrassing for me if he finds me annoying because I’ve experienced it a lot of times from my previous crushes. And also, it’s the reason why sometimes, or I could say that a lot of time, I just decided to ignore him whenever we’re having an interaction.
What I meant by interaction is when we see each other.
When we see each other, we often exchange each other’s stares. But sometimes, just to prevent me from being annoying and embarrassing for him, when we had a chance to see each other, I just ignore him like I didn’t see him, like he wasn’t there like I wouldn’t stare at him for a long time like what I used to.
I like him so much, but there’s no valid reason that he also likes me. And for me, there’s a lot more reason for him to not like me. First, I think he finds me annoying. Second, he’s 5 years older than me. Third, he likes someone else who’s just 1 year older than him and who also, I think, has a crush on him, the reason why they can be together if they want to. And lastly, I feel like he just treats me like I’m just a girl who likes him and he’s just curious why I like him.
Like “why this girl likes me, her stares is creeping me so much. She’s too young for me, she wasn’t even my type, she wasn’t even close to my types. I like pretty mature girls who’s just close to my age and could be my girlfriend. For me she’s a nobody, a nobody who’s annoyingly obsessed with me.”