First of all, this isn’t a letter about missing you or other corny shit since I moved on a long time ago and our relationship ended like 3-4 years ago it’s just that I saw you earlier. You look different, you’re glowing, you look happier, and overall in a better state right now and that is something I’m envious about.

I want to find happiness as you did, I want to find the right person too, I just want to be happy. I have to admit since we broke up, I feel like I stopped being happy with other people. I don’t know maybe this is karma coming back to bite me because of what I did to you or I’m just so unlucky with other people or maybe both. I don’t think I deserve to suffer for this long, the universe knows how much I regret my actions and words back then but I still feel like the universe keeps punishing me even though I genuinely want to feel happy because of other people again.

This hurts, how many years do I still have to endure dating wrong people that don’t even make me happy. I want to plan to settle down like you but I still have a long way to go since I’m not even dating someone right now, my past relationships all failed.

Even though we were both in a recognition program to reward our efforts, that event didn’t make me happy, I just realized how lonely I am seeing other people being happy with others and later on posting their pictures together on their social media just to remind other people how happy they were in each other’s lives while me going home early and just drinking alcohol right now because of the emptiness I feel, fuck there are more than 7 billion people in this world and not even one is on my side right now.

I don’t even fucking know why I’m addressing this letter to you anyway, I should have addressed this to the universe or destiny something. You stopped and looked at me earlier, I just pretended that I didn’t see you since I can’t bear to face you again, I don’t want you to see me that I’m an unlovable person after all and you were the only person who didn’t want to give up on loving me.

Thank “Cailín” I guess for not making me feel that I’m alone when we are still together and I’m sorry for hurting you, I appreciate our memories together especially right now, and the fact that I still felt empty when I was with other people except you.

Please can you pray that I also find happiness like you did? Because I’m on the verge of planning on giving up on finding the right person for me and accepting the fate that I will be alone forever. That’s all I’m going to sleep now damn did I drink too much to think of addressing you this letter.

FROM…. Your charm yiee