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Dear...Querido Sebastián

I have so much I would like to tell you but I’m not sure I’ll ever have the opportunity. I know neither of us was in good places when we got together, and I still have feelings of resentment and frustration with how things played out, how our relationship was a slow drifting apart and how I haven’t heard a peep from you in nearly half a year. I want you to know that, despite all of this, you will always have a special place in my heart. you were the first person I fell in love with, and it pains me how we briefly loved each other before everything went to shit. you taught me so much – about life, love, healing, you showed me how to look at the world in a different way. 

 

if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, and I wouldn’t have been forced to do all the spiritual growing/healing/reflecting I’ve had to do in the last year and a half. even despite the way I hurt you, you were there for me at the worst moment in my life. you bailing me out of jail, despite our being separated, meant so much to me at that moment. you taught me that love is an action, not a word. you helped me realize how I was bringing negative energy into my relations with others, and to acknowledge my flaws and shortcomings, to acknowledge where I was allowing my trauma to let me act selfishly and carelessly. 

 

I’m not sure if we’ll ever speak or see each other again, and I’m learning to be okay with that. I still think about you at least once a day, and my heart still aches when I hear your name or think of your voice. still, I hope you know that I want you to be happy, and I’m learning to accept that I can’t dictate how and with who you are happy. q dios te cuide y te bendiga. siempre tendrás un lugar especial en mi alma, mi cariño.

 

 

FROM…. An old friend

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