Hey, it’s me, I missed you so much. If only I could turn back time and if the universe would only allow me to be with you now, I would’ve taken that chance. I remembered how I met you, it was late at night, I was on my phone playing alone and you were a random player who happened to be my teammate. I was amazed at how great you were playing, it was new to me as you were a girl who had great skills. I was a solo player but then I had the courage to talk to you in the team chat, praising how great you are. It happened that the game was done, I knew I had to know you more.
That’s why I had the courage to add you and then accidentally you invited me. I was hesitant but then it was fate that joined us together in one lobby. Cliche huh, then it was there that everything about us started. From total strangers to friends and later on, we became more than that. I had to go through a lot of rejections until you opened your heart for me. It was the best months of my life, everything made sense. Everything was colorful, even though it was not that easy of a relationship we had.
We weren’t perfect, we had problems. Especially my jealousy towards your exes and suitors. I was suffering from my trust issues and overthinking, and I knew you were affected big time by that. I always thought that maybe I could work everything out but maybe I thought wrong. It was bearable at first but then as time passes by, it became worse. It came to the point that you were questioning my trust towards you. Trust me, my trust for you never faded. It was them, those who were into you that I did not trust. Maybe we got lost in translation and you thought it was you I didn’t have my trust on. You decided to leave me because you thought that it would not work, that I wouldn’t be able to trust you. I beg, I was desperate and willing to do everything just to make you stay but I knew it was too late. Maybe God had planned it ahead, maybe it was never gonna work. It broke me, something died within me that day and I knew it wouldn’t be the same anymore.
I hated you, weeks after I found someone, manage to talk to that person, and thought I could pour my feelings onto her but I was wrong. I knew it was wrong in the first place. It was always you from the beginning but then I have to keep lying to myself. I feel bad for those persons that I have been with after you, you have set the standard so high that I have become a person that I didn’t want to become. No matter how much I hated you, my love for you is immeasurable. No one would be able to understand, even you. Now, I wish you all the best in life, I wish you happiness and the love you deserve. And that maybe if you would fall in love again, you’d fall in love with me again.
But this time I guess I have to let you go, we have to let each other go. My greatest love, you are the best thing that had ever happened to me. If God would give me a chance to take you back, I would take you back in a heartbeat. I love you. Goodbye for now.
FROM….Your First Love