The Love Of My Life.

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How wonderful it was, to be able to call someone mine. How lovely it was, to have the chance to dedicate my favorite love songs to someone. The idea of you smiling at your phone due to my message is enough to make me turn to the gates of heaven itself.

With your hands on the keyboard, tapping idly at the buttons to respond back to me, I can only sit here full of your love. The way you apologize every time you respond back to me late, the way you’d get mad whenever I mention getting hurt by someone, even if it was a minor thing. As I write my utmost feelings for you, I can only hope you feel the same for me.

No matter how much you’ll yell at me, how much you’ll be away, not being able to be there to waste your time on me. I’d still be so in love with you it’s truly unbearable. I want us to be the only thing that lingers on your mind, I want to hold your hand and be able to kiss it like how I’ve always wanted to. In other words, I just want you.

I want to recreate all those cliche and cheesy romantic scenes in movies with you, I want to buy you flowers and play with your hair. I want to engulf my whole being with your shampoo scent, I want to feel your warmth as we hug and laugh away at the midnight. I want to dance with you in the rain, not caring if we both get sick. And until morning comes, I want to be covered in you when I wake up from deep slumber, Strands of your hair in between my fingers while I comb through them softly, your voice murmuring into my ear as you chuckle at my half-asleep self.

I love you. And I mean all of it, truly. Your flaws, your imperfections, I cherish it all. You keep saying I should leave you, saying how horrible of a lover you are, but I can never. Because you are still as beautiful as an angel to me.

You accept my flaws, and so it would only be true and fair if I do the same. I’ve been there for your best, and I will still be there for your worst. I have your words that are dedicated to me memorized, and they rewind in my mind like a stop-motion film as I continue to think about them nonstop. We both share a favorite color which would be blue.

Ever since I learned you love the color blue, every little blue thing reminds me of you. It’s strange how it was my favorite color, but now all I think about is that it’s yours. I can just think about you for hours and never get bored of it. You’re as beautiful as the moon to me. And I would gaze upon the moon every night if that were true.

You make me cry. In so many ways, but yet perhaps the most common reason of them all would be because of how utterly I am in love with you. You’re so attractive, pretty, handsome, gorgeous, and breathtaking, it hurts. But I love how it hurts so much. I’d even be a masochist if it meant I could be hurt by your beauty over and over again.

My mind is not thinking of you, regardless if I was sleeping or not. Truly, you have no idea how much of an effect you have on me. I’m forever grateful that I get to be your first lover.

I love you so much I could die.

Yours truly, N.

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