I wish you guys were still around to see the mess you’ve made of me.
I’ve changed drastically and for the worse. I guess you’re living your lives with an awareness of this, but, you don’t feel any regret.
That’s what vile people do better:
You’ll live your days knowing I can’t trust until somebody bares themselves, spill all the beans to the point of exhaustion.
You won’t bat an eye if I’m still struggling to do things I once loved.
You won’t waste your tears on somebody who’s recovering, trying so hard to live normally. Being myself for real instead of faking that I’ve moved on or don’t remember a thing.
You won’t miss a wink of sleep to know that my only remaining friends don’t recognize me anymore.
And, you all got away with it. It’s not you. It’s not in your life this is happening. It’s not you who’s left feeling powerless, a nobody.
As for me, I’m battling my demons. I’m writing letters to myself so I can gather some strength and be the friend I’ve needed all this time. I didn’t learn how to play dirty. I didn’t learn how to manipulate others. No. I didn’t. I just take a deep breath, exhale and leave it to the Universe. Karma is watching, it always finds a way to collect the debts.
From.. Your favorite victim.