I think I’m destined to be alone. God is against me, I don’t know if he helps other people but he surely does help me. People say he only gives you want he thinks you can handle but what child can handle half the things going on in my life?
I know I can’t I’m crumbling I don’t even feel myself anymore. I’m losing myself and my life has barely begun, I hate being older I hate realizing how life really is it’s not sunshine and rainbows more like an everlasting hell and everything is burning.
I don’t believe anyone would care if I died don’t say you would because believe me we both know nobody cares. I bet they would be happier without me. The only thing that I’m good at is being a screw-up. I’ve tried everything to please people I have high grades,
I don’t drink or do drugs, and I’ve stopped talking as much so I don’t annoy people. But my efforts don’t matter I’m just the spoiled, bratty child who should be more like her younger sister. But I’m not I take care of everything, I’m just trying my best.
It really hurts when they love my brother more than me when he completely broke me. He knew more than I did that what he did to me was wrong no brother should do that to their little sister. But hey it’s okay, at least I protect my perfect younger sister. Sometimes I wish I was her, to be loved as much as she is, I wonder what it feels like. I don’t think I’ll ever know. God, how I wish I knew. But it’s her fault, I can only blame myself for my own mistakes. What’s wrong with me?
Did I do something to deserve all of this hate? There’s more but the light inside me is dying.