I’m so sorry, to everyone who entered my life this year. I’m an awful person.
I’m conventionally attractive so easily I get a lot of attention and romantic attention.
I don’t seek out relationships, I’m fine existing without them, so i usually end up entertaining the thought of getting into one, only to end up blocking them and never speaking to them again. It’s an awful thing I know, but i can’t help the feeling that they don’t care about me.
I can’t help but feel as if they just find me attractive and care about nothing else, it makes me feel like a hollow shell of a person. In other words, i dislike being lusted over, which a lot of men do instead of showing genuine attention and liking.
I’ve drilled that notion into my head, and I’m sure I’ve lost some people who were probably talking to me for the right reasons.
The guilt eats at me for some time before i eventually forget it.
I’m not pitying myself, I just want to be heard.
