(This is a Christian’s struggle. Even if it may appear a minor problem for some, I thought I might share this to whoever reads it, to let people know that my God is great and that it’s okay to struggle, no matter how “small” it may be.)
I’m getting really emotional just writing this. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m not enough for God. I’ve told myself so many times that I was a bad person. I’ve been on my phone a lot of times, and I feel like I’m neglecting God because of it, like I’m the worst daughter He ever had. I didn’t know what to do honestly, I felt trapped.
If I wasn’t perfect enough for Him, I thought He could never love me anymore. I’ve been on c.ai, doing, well… cool stuff. Like fight scenes and overall just showing my character there, also daydreaming (epic fight scenes too.), and I’ve been reading interesting manga too. I thought I was a bad person for doing these… because it was fantasy.
I thought I would be rejecting God just because I did these things, but I realized that I was wrong. I didn’t have to be perfect, no one could ever be perfect. I’m a sinner, but not a bad person. At least I hope I’m not. I don’t have to walk on eggshells around God, He’s my friend, my provider, my Father.
He told me to enjoy the life He gave me, including the imaginative mind He blessed me with, the creativity he gave to me. Just because I enjoy these things, doesn’t mean He could never love me anymore. I realized that I don’t have to feel suffocated, instead I’ll enjoy life with Him in it.
So, whenever I think of another cool story, or read one, I’ll thank God for allowing me to enjoy stuff like these. I’ve become a better person because of Him, I’m more patient because of Him, I read the Bible nowadays willingly because of Him, and most importantly–I love God, and God loves me. God loves you too, He always had since the beginning, when you weren’t even born yet. We are all carefully and wonderfully made. God bless you and have a great day. 🙂
