I’m so lost.
17 years old and completely tired. I remember being in a therapist’s office when i was younger being asked “where do you see yourself 5 years from now” and i wasn’t able to envision anything, I didnt expect to reach this age, i didnt expect to be here , or do what im doing right now.
Life has definitely gotten better in certain aspects, but in other ways its worse and im coping.
I developed bulimia recently, i dont know how to feel about that really, and i relapsed self harming today by breaking a glass cup and using the shards as blades. How desperate is that.
Earlier this year i would drink in school and get drunk to keep the academic pressure from making me kill myself and i also started using weed alot more.
I stopped but at what cost?, im constantly feeling the urge and need to get high whenever life is too stressful.
Im now in upper6 doing Alevels and i transferred to a highly academic competitive school, im keeping up but mentally, just barely.
All of this to say that this year has been a whirlpool of experiences.
I want to be better, I’m sorry
