Dear Misu

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I know you’ll never read this but somehow… I hope you will. Do you remember how we first met? We were on the school’s football field, you were playing football and accidentally you shouted the ball in my glasses. I was so mad at you, I wasn’t even paying attention to what was happening around me, my only concern was if my glasses were broken. You came to me so quickly, constantly apologizing and asking me if I’m okay… You really cared actually and were so worried about me when we didn’t even know each other. My friend told me after that you were patting me so gently on my back but I didn’t realize, I didn’t even look at you.

Later on, I posted a story on Instagram, you voted yes for talking and from that moment, a beautiful love story started… But stories don’t always have happy endings, do they? We were talking every single day, from when we woke up until we went to sleep. We were always sending “good morning” and “good night” texts, we were telling each other every stupid thing we did that day, all of our secrets, and everything that made us happy or sad.

We were consoling each other and giving each other advice. I remember one time I was so upset about a fight I had with my best friend and you told me not to cry because if I’m sad then you’re sad too, you said that you’ll listen and be here for me anytime and as long as I need to. You promised… You cared a lot about me and you just wanted for me to be happy.

I couldn’t wait to come home from school and tell you every detail about my day and you enjoyed listening to me. Or when something big happened or when you were excited about something, I was the first to hear it. We could talk about anything for hours without getting bored. We were sending lots of pictures of us making funny faces and laughing over literally anything. We had such great times together. Every time I saw your name in my notifications I would start hearing my heart beating so hard. Talking to you was the favorite part of my day, I could forget about any of my concerns just talking to you. And I’m sure you felt the same.

I remember how you were telling me how much you love me, how much you care about me, how you couldn’t live without me, and how you will never give up on me. Was everything just… a lie? You made me feel so special, you made me feel like a princess, “your little princess”. We used to have so many inside jokes. You said I was your little sister from another mother, you protected me and took care of me. Remember how you used to call me “my little one” and I was getting mad at you because I didn’t like it? Honestly, now I would give anything just for you to call me like that one more time.

It’s been almost a year since we first talked and there were so many small things that I wish I would have appreciated more because now I miss everything we had. And mostly, I miss you. No, I miss the old you. I miss your stupid face and those green puppy eyes you were giving me, the big smile you had when you would see me and say hi to me, and the secret glances we gave to each other. You became my best friend and later, my love, a thing that I would have never thought would happen. You were such a sweet and sensitive boy, so different from the others. But now, you’ve changed radically.

You’re wearing only Nike and Jordan, you became arrogant and you think you’re superior and so popular, mostly among girls. Where did the shy lovely boy go? And then, there’s her, aka your new girlfriend, the girl that you knew hurt me the most and was such a bad person with me who always looked for a reason to make me suffer and put me down.

You knew and you promised you’ll never replace me with her and that you’ll never be influenced by her. Yet still, you forgot about me and now you always go out with her, talk to her in the school’s corridors, hug her, and treat her like you used to treat me like I didn’t even exist in your life…
Why would you do this to me? Was I that easy to replace? Does she even love you better than I can? I cared about you as I’ve never cared about anyone. It just hurts so much to see you with her and treat me like a complete stranger, avoid me, like it never happened. When my eyes meet yours, time stops for a while.

There’s no one around us, there’s just me and you staring at each other with nothing to say. Yet still, we both know we feel the same. Eyes have a language of their own. A lot more things are said in silence, just looking into each other’s eyes, am I right? Sometimes I’m wondering if you still think about me, about the times we had. Do you even miss me a little bit? But all of a sudden my hopes fade away when I remember that if you wanted to talk to me and keep me, you would.

However, I’m still here, waiting for you to come back and hoping that maybe we still have a second chance.

If we’ll never talk again, just know I really loved you. I miss you… and I hope you miss me too.

"micuta ta"

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