Dear lovers and almosts


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TW: SH, R*PE/ I’ve been through a lot. Maybe that is what made me strong or whatever. There are a lot of things I didn’t say here, but you should know, through all this I was struggling with untreated ADHD, depression, and anxiety.

I’m writing this as I listen to a playlist my dear friend made for me, he truly is a treasure. He and I are the same, he helps me and I help him as if we were made for each other. You might be wondering, why is this random girl saying this, well, I wanna share my stories with ’’almost love’’, situationships, and finally, my two and only relationships.

My first boyfriend (S), our relationship lasted a month, we were young and didn’t even know what ’’ love meant, but we loved each other, for what we knew love was. That relationship made me happy, but when it ended it made me think no one could ever love me again.

It was so pure and I still look back at it with a smile on my face. The next year was so chaotic and full of emotions. My first situationship (F)happened in September, he was so nice and I really liked him. I knew this boy for three years so I thought we would work out just great. In October I slept over at his place, it was great. As the night approached we were less and less awkward in each other’s company. He was my first kiss too, which makes all this even f*cking worse.

When we went to bed he started to touch me in ways I didn’t like. In fact, if I let him, he would r*pe me too. It was the same thing the second night. But even after that, I still wanted him, maybe because he manipulated me and I was so naive he wanted me and not my body. I thought things were great until they weren’t he got a girlfriend a few days after I left. How great right? He wasn’t even sorry for it. Then I heard from someone that he only wanted me to sleep over to have s*x with me, which is a really disgusting thing.

At the end of October, I met a nice guy(S). Well, he was nice from the beginning, but as time went on, he was the same as (F), I still believed in him, that he was nice, but he isn’t and I’m glad we’re not friends anymore. He kissed me on the forehead and told me really nice things, but he had me wrapped around his finger so I would believe every nice thing he would say. Then again, the next year came and I was so heartbroken and because of (F) I started to sh, it wasn’t a good way to cope, but it helped. In January (J) and I went skating on ice, to celebrate New Year.

This guy was nice from the start but then he started to tell me how I should send him nudes and stuff like that. Of course, I didn’t send them, I’m not dumb, and I blocked him since he wasn’t what I wanted anyways. February was a nice month, I slept over at (R) house. He didn’t force me to do anything. We watched movies, went on a walk and I felt a little happy. He was so nice but we were on different paths so it didn’t work out. March, I started talking to (D). He made me believe someone can actually love me. I was at my happiest in his presence, in fact, he was my everything.

Sleeping next to him felt really nice. With him, I felt safer than at home. He was my first, I gave him my body. However nothing lasts forever, he broke up with me in September. I was really sad for solid two months,until I realized that it was worthless. I started going to therapy which helped a lot, my psychiatrist put me on meds, and now, I’m a better person than I was two years ago. We all need time to realize things.

Time flies by so fast, enjoy your moments with everyone, you never know when something can end. If you read all this, I’m surprised. Some of this maybe doesn’t make sense, but that’s because I don’t really remember a lot so I wrote mostly what I could. Maybe people mentioned in this will find this and know who I am, if you’re one of them, Hi 🙂 hope you’re happy with how you destroyed me :D.you never know when something can end. If you read all this, I’m surprised.

Some of this maybe doesn’t make sense, but that’s because I don’t really remember a lot so I wrote mostly what I could. Maybe people mentioned in this will find this and know who I am, if you’re one of them, Hi 🙂 hope you’re happy with how you destroyed me :D.you never know when something can end.

If you read all this, I’m surprised. Some of this maybe doesn’t make sense, but that’s because I don’t really remember a lot so I wrote mostly what I could. Maybe people mentioned in this will find this and know who I am, if you’re one of them, Hi 🙂 hope you’re happy with how you destroyed me :D.

From.. K

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