Here’s the content with the “i” capitalized:
I let you tell me twice that you didn’t want me. It hurt so much both times but now it’s like a passing glance. When I hear your name I have to question, who? But when I sit with all the awful things you said, it comes rushing back. I was far from perfect but I didn’t deserve the anguish. Your dad died and then you left me for good. I moved on and away and then my dad died and I did the same thing to another man. So I understand you better now than I ever did then. And I forgave you and I forgave myself.
I miss the good times. But our love was more of a spark, a glimmer, than a flame. It was ash in our mouths. It was one night that should have been left behind. Somehow it became two years of questions. Questions with no answers because our path led to nothing. I’m okay with that now. I know you are too. I know you love circling back. I don’t. Not as if I was someone you ever wanted to come back to anyways. And hey, that’s okay too. The time that broke my heart is so far in the rearview it doesn’t even cross my mind anymore. I have way more fresh heartbreaks to write unread letters to.
When our paths inevitably cross again, I’ll smile and chat but I have nothing left in my heart for you.
Maybe in another lifetime we can be what each other needs. But I doubt it.
All the love I can send is wrapped up in someone else.